First, since I am quite sporadic in my blogging, I'm going to answer comments here:
mb - thanks for visiting and commenting!
d- that is my biggest worry and in some ways he has, which is why I think I should, but as I said in my post, the girls seem happier when they are seeing him on a consistent basis - there has been a couple of times since we separated in 2004 that he would go 6 months withoug seeing them and I could see it was bothering my oldest and somewhat my youngest - I'll email you the link to my old blog so you can read the history if you are interested - let me know
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So far EXhusband hasn't called or bothered me anymore. His mom did pick up the girls from the visitation center this weekend so we will see what the girls come home and say.
STBXBF - this has become exactly like that song the long goodbye. I know its best if I just cut him off but I'm having a hard time actually doing it. Plus I still need to get some of my stuff that I haven't moved yet - nothing I can't do w/out - but I am sick and tired of leaving my stuff behind. He complicates things by saying he doesn't want strangers in his house - but he keeps giving me bs why he can't get anyone to move it (i.e. his friends with trucks). Arrrrrggggggggh.
I know I am doing something wrong to attract two guys w/almost exactly the same problems - can't hold a job, mommy issues, drinking problems, self-esteem issues, jealousy - yep, I keep hitting the jackpot. I mean, seriously, don't most guys have pride and when I move out and make it as difficult as possible, don't you start to give up or find other women more attractive or at least thing why am I putting up with this treatment?
2 comments:
"I know I am doing something wrong to attract two guys w/almost exactly the same problems - can't hold a job, mommy issues, drinking problems, self-esteem issues, jealousy - yep, I keep hitting the jackpot."
A big ditto here. My advice - learn to love yourself first before you go looking for another man. If you truly love you, you will not be willing to put up with so much and will start to attract a better sort of love. My two cents, anyway.
I totally agree with brunhilda! You won't find someone to love you and treat you right...until you love you and treat you right. I know that is easier said than done, but it's possible.
Thanks for the link to my blog! I'm flattered...I thought there were only about 3 of us who read it, now there are 4! Woohoo!!! I'm working my way through your blog now, and I can feel your frustration and pain. It's so hard to go through this crap alone...having kids involved sometimes makes us hold off making a decision for fear of making the wrong one. All you can do is try to do the right thing, and correct your course if that decision turns out to be the wrong one. Your kids will understand that you are human (some day - maybe not right away but some day) and you will be teaching them that it's ok to screw up, as long as you take action and try your best to fix it when it does happen.
Consider this an opportunity to teach your daughters how to NOT stick to a crappy relationship and to love themselves more than anyone else. Life is a learning experience, as long as we are still breathing there is hope for us!!
(sorry, I tend to leave long winded comments...it's just the way I am, can't help it! LOL)
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