Got up to eat a pop tart. I know I need to quit eating this time of the night/morning, but I am craving a chocolate pop-tart!

X didn't pick up the kids this weekend. His step-father had to work. I guess they say this stuff to look good to the visitation people, because they know I know they are full of bs. However, I know I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. The less time spent with them the better!!! I don't know why they don't fund visitation centers for every divorce that is high conflict and not just domestic violence. It really eliminates any confrontation. I think I should start a business providing third party communication for X spouses so communication can't degenerate into fights. It would help a lot I think. I know this has really helped me. I can't imagine having to see him or his family - it's bad enough just on the main holidays, but luckily his step-father came last Xmas. He's not too bad.

Took the girls to get their hamsters today. They were so excited. We technically aren't allowed to have pets, but I don't think hamsters count...well the landlord probably would, but who will know? If he ever has to come here, I'll hide them in the closet. LOL

They also went to the dentist - no cavities! Hooray! They did have a lot of tartar and the hygenist gave them a stern lecture. I think the msg that if they do a better job brushing they won't have to suffer so much (with the hook thingy - what is that called?) will help the most.

I had plans to go out with a friend from work but cancelled. Probably for the best. I'm sure STBXBF would freak. I know I need to file a protective order, but I feel like I should say something first like, leave me alone or I'm going to file this, but I want to get the rest of my stuff first. Hopefully, I can get that done this weekend.

I was planning on going shopping for the girls some clothes this weekend because taking them is like a nightmare. It's a lot easier to do it on my own. Until they are old enough for me to give them money and say go find what you want with this amount, I'm doing it this way. I can find stuff they like for a lot cheaper. They just see it and want it no matter the price. I wish I had someone, anyone, who could take the kids like a grandma would or a sister. I'm glad I had two so mine won't be in this position. I mean I know sisters become estranged, but hopefully that won't happen.

Sometimes I'm so envious of my friend J. She has two sisters and her parents are still married to each other. Their always there for each other and take family vacations. I mean, I know they have their problems too, just like me, because I've been there, but it would be nice to be part of a family that I could depend on. Is there a place where you can adopt one? LOL

Boy, maybe I should post at 1am more often, I'm quite wordy today.