I am quite shocked at the negative attitude my daughters have towards Obama and I can't help but wonder where they picked it up (school?). I don't really talk politics around my house but the girls do know I voted for Obama way back when and I did explain to them why I was voting for him because during the primary they wanted Hilary (is it weird that they even cared?). In the last few months there have been a few instances where I have mentioned something like for example that our city wasn't having a regatta this year because of money problems and after I finished the sentence they added, "because of Obama.". They have added this to a few other things I have said and I find it quite odd. It makes me wonder where they are hearing all this negative Obama talk. When the whole Joe Wilson "you lie" thing happened, I was talking about it to NG and my littlest piped up and said, "that wouldn't have happened if they had McCain". I thought kids picked up their parents political attitudes? When the school address flap came up, I asked the kids if they had watched Obama and turns out they didn't - littlest said the teacher couldn't find the right channel and oldest said it came on too late? The Friday before his address I read a couple articles online about it and some of the comments were shocking to me; I couldn't believe people felt that the President speaking to children in school was some kind of brainwashing plan. I guess Bush did it too way back when and I don't remember being concerned about it. What I find really ridiculous is how so many conservatives blame Obama for the mess we're in - he's been in office for what a whole 9 months and the stuff that caused most of the economic crisis happened before he even took office!!! Then the whole he's not eligible to be President thing is even more hilarious. Now, I wish I had made a bigger deal out of Gore winning the national vote but not the electoral college. Okay enough politics for today.

The other night the girls were talking about how they miss their dad's parents, which made me feel kinda guilty. A few of my friends that are in similar situations feel that the best thing to do is to allow access and let the kids figure it out for themselves, which I probably would have done should they have made any effort whatsoever to contact me to see the kids, which they haven't. I know in his mom's twisted mind, his being in prison is all my fault and I'm sure they would portray it that way to the girls. That in a nutshell is the problem, I am almost positive they would talk about inappropriate things with the girls should they be allowed to see them, which I don't want. It comes down to the girls hearing lies and the truth from me, but although I'm sure they believe me, I'm sure they also wonder why they are saying these things. It creates an atmosphere of uncertainty for them that I don't want them to experience and in my mind the only way to ensure that is for them to not be associated with his family.

Have I mentioned I can't breathe? The pregnancy is getting harder and harder - so totally different from my first two. I don't remember feeling all that miserable at all, but with this one, woobooy, she's a doozy. LOL

Crys - good idea

Fusion - the pregnancy is driving me INSANE. I am completely and utterly miserable - I am not one of those women who enjoy pregnancy. I want my body back!!!! I'm tired of not sleeping and having all these aches and pains. I could go on and on LOL but I'll take pity on you. Aren't you glad you asked?

Tulip - me too and I hope that will work for you

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The camping trip was actually pretty good considering how I felt about it. One of the couples that went had brought their grandchildren and the girl was the same age as my oldest and the boy was the same age as my youngest so they had built in playmates. I didn't have to do any cooking which was good and relaxed mostly. I was irritated because we gave his parents $60 to buy dinner stuff and we ended up eating hot dogs and hamburger every night - two nights I could have handled but three is a little much. It really wasn't their fault though because one of the couples wanted to wait to cook chicken until the next night and then somehow they ended up not cooking their hamburgers and hotdogs so the night they had said we were going to do chicken they did hamburgers and hotdogs. I don't think that made much sense, but anyways it irritated me.

Be prepared for a vent fest. We're supposed to go camping this weekend. We were supposed to go to a place where they have a pool. Today I find out that the place has been changed to a place that doesn't have a pool, but they do have a swimming beach on a lake. Color me not happy. Why? Because I agreed to go to a place that had a pool and that's what I want dammit. Why does it matter so much? It doesn't really, but it does. Waaaaaaaaaaah. NG is really looking forward to the trip so when he told me the change in plans, I kept my dismay to myself (I know self-sabotage). He didn't change the plans, the people we are going with did. I sorta feel like telling him to go ahead and go with his son D and the girls can go if they want too, but I know he'll be hurt, even though last time we didn't really spend much time together so why should it matter? Which brings me to a whole 'nother issue - once again I'm starting to feel like I've been bait and switched. I remember making my views on things (kids, activities, life motto) pretty clear in the beginning and now I feel as if it's all being overwritten. Maybe I'm just hormonal. All I know is that I'm starting to feel a little managed and I don't like it - at all. Waaaaaaaaaaaaah. That's how I feel. Why are relationships always so difficult. Why don't people listen when I talk and if they don't like what they hear, go away instead of trying to change me and my views. Which I have to say some of the changes have been for the better (girls nutrition, behavior) so where does that leave me? Am I just a control freak?

Can I just say that I hate women that love being pregnant? It's driving me batty. I hate feeling like I'm carrying around a basketball under my tummy. That I can't bend over. That I can't sleep. That I have indigestion. That the baby seems to think she is engaged in kickboxing match with the inside of mommy. That I look like a beached whale and feel totally un-sexy. Ugggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!

Okay, I feel a little better.

Hard to believe the baby will be here in about 3 months (I think the baby is going to come in October, the due date is Nov 1). I really can't believe I'm having another child. I so wish I had a nanny. NG is getting a new job and he will be leaving the house around 430am and arriving home around 8pm so help with the baby - not so much. : ( Actually the baby thing is not going to be so bad, it's the toddler thing that's going to drive me bonkers. When you have to watch them like a hawk and they need you every 5 seconds. I mean I just finally got to the point where I have time to myself once in a while and now look what I did. I guess I'm a masochist. LOL Maybe all of this negativity will make the reality better (you know expecting all this bad stuff and then it turns out okay - just nod and say yes).

I can't remember if I mentioned that NG got laid off, but he has been staying home with the girls for summer since paying for summer camp plus his unemployment would be almost the same as him working. He has really made a big change for the better in the girls, though it's hard for me to admit. They get along better, eat better, get more exercise and treat me better. Of course that could also be due to the fact that they don't have any influence from their Dad, who knows.

The tech is 99.9% sure I'm having a girl! Poor NG - he's way outnumbered now.

Things are still going well - surprise! But it's only been a year (can you say pessimistic polly three times really fast?) so I'm still a little anxious. I guess after what I've been through, I always will be. We did have our first serious argument not too long ago and he began to get a little out of hand, but I calmly told him that I wasn't talking to him that way and we were discussing something not fighting with an enemy and not to use foul language (he said fuck) to me or raise his voice and neither would I and he calmed right down and we had a civil discussion about our difference of opinion which we really didn't resolve then, but later. What was this contentious discussion about? The girls' eating habits (which they've learned from me shhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!). It's true, the girls don't eat very healthy. We've got little debbie cakes boxes gone in a day and snacking all day long on whatever they want and then when dinner time comes, their not hungry - surprise! They are very picky and won't try anything new and I've just sorta adjusted to the fact that we only have certain things for dinner because they won't eat anything else, or if I did fix something they didn't like, I'd make them spaghettio's or ravioli. Youngest daughter hasn't had any spaghettio's or beefaroni in about 2 months and now she's not having stomach aches all the time or her morning sickness (not really morning sickness but it did seeem like that). Both of them have lost the love handles they had and oldest acne problems seems to be quite reduced. I was quite resistant to this whole new way of eating (i.e. only healthy snacks like fruite and veggies, but they're still not eatin raw veggies yet), one snace between meals and real dinners no fast food but I have to admit the results are positive. Why was I resistant you ask? Well, it was hard to not to give in to the crying/whining about food with the girls, it was also hard for me to cut out all the junk food I ate because I didn't feel right eating it if the girls couldn't have it, plus I know how much I love it and I knew it was hard on the girls because it was hard on me. I mean imagine going from having a snack drawer filled with fudge rounds, fruit rollups, chip bags, honey buns, reece cups to only being allowed to have bananas, grapes, cantelope and kiwi? We have not cut out that stuff all together but we don't keep it in the house, instead we go do DQ and have ice creme, or we had birthday cake on Sunday. I feel like the food police sometimes and it feels weird to me because I never had limits on what I ate as a child. Luckily I was naturally thin and had a metabolism to die for (if only I still did!!!) so it never caused any problems for me, but I can see the results on the girls already. Actually youngest wasn't showing any chunkiness, but she was having stomach problems and bowel movement problems. I realize it is better for them and teaching them healthy eatings habits, but I for some reason, still feel a littel resistant, like it's too strict or something...hard to explain.

This is the rule we came up with. Dinner is dinner - eat it or leave it, but no snacks if you don't eat it. There will always be something they like at dinner (for instance chicken), but no special meals. Snacks are one time between meals and must be healthy (fruit or veggie, peanut butter/graham cracker, granola bar - no chips, little debbie cakes etc.). They are encouraged to try new things but putting a spoonful on their plate and trying it. Oldest is doing fine with this, littlest not too much. It's a struggle and I'm feelin' like the mean mom.

Taken from fusion

8 things I am looking forward to:
1. Going to Florida in June
2. Going to King's Island this weekend
3. The new tv
4. Having the baby (well getting it done, not the actual labor!)
5. Buying baby stuff
6. Coloring my hair after I have the baby
7. Finding out if the baby is a boy or girl
8. Staying home with the baby on maternity leave

8 things I did yesterday:
1. Worked
2. Researched Disney prices
3. Went out to eat
4. Took the girls to gymnastics
5. Confessed to a lie to NG- well a couple since they were all related
6. Emailed my 2nd cousin to check into staying at her place in FL
7. Ate, several times in fact... (copied from Fusion)
8. Straightened my hair

8 things I wish I could do:
1. Be a beach bum
2. Color my hair
3. Be tan
4. Change my daughter's dad into someone worhty of the title
5. Buy a house
6. Get a couple dogs, some cats and a horse, and maybe one of the lop eared bunnies
7. Live on a farm with farm hand to do all the work
8. Sing well

8 shows I watch:
1. Law & Order
2. Rock of Love
3. Intervention
4. American Idol
5. America's Funniest Home Videos
6. Bad Girls
7. Snapped
8. 48 Hours