Court is tomorrow. I'm really dreading it, thought I'm blocking the feelings. My therapist told me once that I'm going to be in a lot of trouble when all these feelings I block come crashing down, but I've been doing this now for almost 40 years, I don't think that's ever going to happen, I'm too good at making myself ignore them.
Things with NG are still good (knock on wood - I'm getting very superstitious in my old age). I'm a little confused about how I feel about his relationship with the girls - on one hand I feel like he's overstepping but on the other hand the girls seem more stable. Sometimes I feel like he's too hard on them, and then other times I feel like he's right, it's just very confusing for me. I think this has more to do with my own issues than what's actually going on - when my mother was with my step-dad I really resented his interference, I felt as if it was none of his business and that my mom should be making all the decisions about me. Of course, the fact that he was a raging alcoholic who abused my mom probably didn't help and NG is far from that, but there is something there that is bothering me and I'm not sure about it yet enough to discuss it.
3 comments:
Good luck in court. You will be in my thoughts.
I understand the issue with NG and your girls. The question I think you have to ask is is he being fair and honest in his actions and words to them. I'm wondering about my GF's 11 year old son, and how she would feel if I started to assist her in his raising. Sticky stuff to work through...
Good luck in court Cassee.
Good luck in court. I'm largely in agreement with Fusion on the "step-dad" thing. On the one hand, he's really not their step-dad yet, right? But on the other hand, he seems to be giving them a sense of order in their lives - something which on the surface they may grumble about now and then, but that's on ly because they're teens. When they get older, they'll probably thank him for it - in particular if he is indeed being fair and even-handed, and not abusive, which by your reports he isn't.
So it's all good, from what I make of it. Talking about it with him would be a good idea - as would reconnecting with your feelings that you've been blocking. Your therapist is absolutely correct - you think you've got a handle on it now, but every repressed feeling is like a stick of TNT you've added to a time bomb that's just waiting to be triggered by the right stressor. Better to defuse it now, under controlled circumstances, rather than play the waiting game and see what gets taken out in the unavoidable blast - 'cause frankly, the only way you're going to avoid that blast is by a premature demise, and no one wishes that on you (no one here, at the least).
Post a Comment