thanks so much for everyone's thoughts...

I think perhaps counseling is in order if not for us then at least for me...my track record is not very good with counseling but I'll give it another try...

we did have a good weekend after he finally apologized Sat morning...however we still agree that we need to discuss our issues in more depth...since it was one of only three holidays he gets a year I was willing to table the discussion for the holiday and enjoy it...I've always been good at compartmentalizing...

I think in my post I gave the idea that it was really over a Prius...it wasn't really..it's really a power struggle I think...and that is why I'm so annoyed because once again I've made clear to someone my views and then later they want to change the game..arrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh