Good news!!! The attorney said that she thought my idea of delaying was a good plan as he may just give up. If not and they keep pressing, then we'll file something, but (and I was so surprised at this) she said really we should just make him file something and I was like, huh? A lawyer that doesn't want to make money? LOL I told her that I was afraid that if I waited to file it would look bad on me and she said no it would not so I was like ok. I mean why spend money if you don't have to she said. I love this lawyer LOL. The reason I picked this atty is because I already know she has a relationship with the judgeg, they have written article together, done mock trials together and she said I'm glad you have him, we like this Judge (and I'm thinking, yeah I know). So, things are looking good!
Later, I began to think of something else. She had mentioned during our conversation that no judge is going to start the girls back to seeing him immediately, he would transition them gradually if he gets it at all. So, maybe what I should do is offer fully monitored visitation (i.e. someone is with them listening to everything he says to them) with an objective party in about a month if they keep contacting me, that way I am protecting the children while still facilitating their relationship with him. OH yeah and I also found out that I have been giving him every other weekend and our parenting plan says he is only entitled to three sundays 1-6pm - isn't that crazy??? I don't know how I messed that up or perhaps I was trying to be fair and forgot that it wasn't the real plan - it's hard to remember. That is another reason she said not to go to court because I could lose that. But back to the fully monitored visitation thing (I am all over the place LOL), I don't think he'll do it and then he has to either take me back to court or give up - if we go back to court it won't look bad on me because I'm just doing what the Judge would have probably done to start with so....Yay! I just hope I'm right.
I know most of you guys are step moms with dad's who don't get what they deserve, but I just want you to know I tried really hard to let him be a parent to these girls but he just wanted to use them to hurt me and was hurting them and I have to protect them. I would love for them to have a dad who would step up and join me as their parent and although I would miss them, I would go for 50/50. My husband and I recently discussed separating and that is what we had decided on (luckily we decided against it - for now) so I just don't want you guys to think I'm another crazy BM LOL
Vacation is next week! whoop whoop!
3 comments:
I would talk to that attny before you offer him anything. I like the idea of offering the 1-6 time slot, supervised only. But the attorney has the right idea. Make him wait for right now. He's just gotten out of jail. If he files on you, all he's entitled to is that time frame and you can request that it be supervised at that time.
I get it. I wish my ex had put aside the drugs and alcohol and acted like a parent to where he could have helped raise the kids. But he made the choices he did and I had to protect the kids from his poor decisions.
Oh I will def talk to her before I do anything. ;)
Yeah, I know..sometimes I think people probably think I'm one of those crazy BM's who is just trying to keep their Dad from them but they don't know the whole story of how I gave him a $150 for an atty so he could stay out of jail, that I never talked bad about him to the girls though I could have told them ALOT of things, how he was emotionally damaging them, he is just bad news and it's my fault for choosing such a slimebag for a father but all I can do is go forward ya know?
I know. Believe me I know. I've spent years begging my ex to make things right in his life and with the kids so that they can have a "dad". I even let him come to TX and stay with us after he had had nothing to do with the kids in almost 5 years trying to get him to rebuild a relationship with them. He just pulled another disappearing act and the next time he called my son it was a call asking if my kid knew where he could buy marijuana in weight.
Sometimes, no matter what you do, they'll still screw up. And then you just have to protect the kids from their insanity as much as possible!
Post a Comment