This is my secret place to confess my deepest darkest thoughts and I have some today that I want to preserve in case I'm right. Is my husband thinking of cheating on me? My gut is telling me yes, he may be thinking of it. One, lately he has been very critical, it seems as if I can't do anything right. Two, he has told me several times he feels neglected, ignored, devalued, and overwhelmed. Three, yesterday he told me he "ran into" his ex girlfriend online (Facebook). Uh you don't run into people, they send you friend requests or you send them one (yes, they are friends now). Four, he deleted his inbox on Facebook, Five, he didn't delete the sent - this is what was in there
1st message
my son and i hang out all the time hes now in the mines with me, hell i think he makes more than me now, but its awesome. my duaghter and i are not speaking and i have no desire for her craziness in my life so i have moved on from that. but yeah i got a great job making bunches of money and just improve on my position every chance i get
how can we chat, this message thing sucks
2nd msg
how come your not working today
and where you living now
Six, he didn't mention me at all and neither did she evidently or the baby
How do I feel about this? Upset. Mad. Anxious. and honestly sorta the same way I felt with the X - let me catch him and then it's over.
The only redeeming factor in all this is that he changed his password a week or so ago and told me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I used to ignore my gut feelings but I found out that they are usually right.
The truth is I am kind of feeling the same way he is - which is a recipe for disaster. I feel like he doesn't appreciate me and he feels the same. What's the solution? He feels like he is theh only one that make an effort. I don't feel that way but it does make me think he is not seeing things clearly because I do.
Not to mention we are back to the same old refrain I always say, "I told them this was how I am and now they don't like it.". ugh
2 comments:
First of all you have to decide if your marriage means enough to you for y'all to work on it. Then I would suggest that y'all go to a marriage counselor because it sounds (from what you wrote) that y'all are having a communication problem. Marriage is compromise. Both of you have to give 110% or it won't work. Oh and the girl on FB - that would have to be discussed honestly or she'd have to go. Quick
Good luck
I usually say go with your gut instincts, but sometimes, you just can't do that. My husband's grandfather once told me that marriage isn't 50/50, it's 90/10; sometimes you give 90% and he gives 10%, and other times it's the other way around. All I know, after 14 years of marriage, is that it's not easy, and sometimes it's harder than other times. But if it becomes TOO hard, then you need to decide if it's worth all of the stress. Do you trust him? If so, then ASK him. If you DON'T trust him, then that's pretty telling right there. Either way, good luck, and keep your chin up.
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