last week I went to use my child support card and it was denied so I got online today and checked and looks like X must have gotten in trouble because he is not at the work release center anymore, he has been moved to the maximum security prison in our state where the most severe felons are housed... I'm going to call the detective who handled my case and see if he can find out what he did in case its something good for my custody case. Sometimes I feel bad that he has spent this long in jail although I wouldn't admit that to anyone IRL because I wonder if I wasn't protesting his release that he would already be out - I mean he is in there on forgery and uttering and meanwhile I see people in the news who have been convicted of child abuse, drugs, robbery who spend less than a year...but I also have to admit that the other part of me is glad because he is toxic to the girls and who knows what he might do to me when he gets out. I try to talk myself into believing that he won't do anything but now, after 1 year and 8 months being incarcerated do I really believe he's just going to let it go. No not really. Should I get a gun and take classes? Some people say yes others say no - I'm on the fence. I mean the fact is, if I do that, I'm going to have to use it. Can I? I think I can, but do you really know until that moment?
The Dr. Phil show was on domestic violence yesterday. It is an epidemic. I already talk to my girls about healthy relationships and the warning signs of men who may be abusive. I have already decided if I suspect a man is harming one of my daughters I'm going to do something about it - whether it be staging an intervention or something crazy - my daughters will not be abused PERIOD.
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Feel free to email me over any of this...
I keep a loaded gun in my house. Several of them. But they're all shot guns. They all have safety. And my boys have had gun safety classes. Guns and kids can be a bad mix if you don't consider things like gun safety classes for the kids. If you do get a gun - I like my 12 gauge with spray shot. It makes a loud enough noise and sprays a wide enough range to deter anyone or anything (coyote, rattle snake, copperhead, panther- all issues we have here in the country). Does you state have a castle law?
As for him losing his work release... Sounds like maybe he got popped for another crime while in jail. Could be a fight or might be something more serious. Does your state have an online inmate locator? If so- a lot of the time, those will have current charges listed. I'd be checking into it to see if it will help your court case. Maybe you can use it as grounds to request supervised visits in the future.
Best of luck!
I agree with Amy. And your comment that if you got a gun you'd have to use it tells me you're in the right mindset. From the sound of your ex, you sadly may need it one day. I hope you don't, but if you don't have it you may regret it...
Take lots of lessons too. I'd recommend a hand gun as well for by the bedside.
Hopefully his transfer to the prison is a sign he won't be out soon.
I didn't say a hand gun because hand guns are way to easy for a kid to handle. The shot guns are big enough to make them prohibitive to a smaller child. Plus they'd never have the strength to cock it. I sleep with one by my bed.
Double check to see if your state has a castle law. That law protects the landowner if they have to use physical force on an intruder.
Have you and the girls looked into taking a self defense course together? It helps to build confidence, teach skills and can be a total bonding experience if you do it together.
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